How People Find Us, 2012 Edition

Here is today’s list of Google Search results that amazingly, insanely, incredibly, mindbendingly and wonderfully helped people find their way here, to your favorite source of online awesomesauce, the one, the only, the long-dead-but-still-searched-and-found, the Daily Miltonian.

cannibal shrimp 88
giant cannibal shrimp 14
corgis 3
hulk vs silver surfer 3
baby corgis for sale 3
harold brodkey 3
daily miltonian 2
silver surfer vs hulk 2
jim morrison car

Some things to note. Harold Brodkey, Jim Morrison, corgis, Silver Surfer, the Hulk: all of this has been discussed in past posts here on the Miltonian. We love corgis. Have we ever sold baby Corgis? Um, no. Have we ever discussed shrimp? Not once. Let alone cannibal shrimp or (dear lord WTF are) giant cannibal shrimp. 88 people searched for cannibal shrimp and Google directed them to my personal blog. Let’s just stop and think about this for just one second, K? So you love Google, right? You consider them to be an accurate source of internet search results, amirite? Okay. Fine. Then why the fuck when you search giant cannibal shrimp does Google direct you to my blog?

Just saying. The Internet has always been broken. And it’s not ever going be fixed. So don’t you forget it. Is it safe here? It is not. Are there facts? There are. Are they wrong? They are. The information provided here is all wrong, it’s totally weird, and it’s getting weirder all the time. Take note, and take heed. Hide your kids, hide your wife, and while you’re it it, hide your shrimp.

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