I Want Candy, Recycled Media Headline Edition

Quick. Don’t think about Sofia Coppola. Actually, come to think of it: never think about Sofia Coppola.

 NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER. EVER.

Ever.

But OK.  If the Midwest has their stranglehold on the emo (and what a strange hug it is), it’s easy to forget that until recently, Portland had very much cornered the market on twee.

 So I guess it should come as no surprise that right after Portland came in at #1 on ice cream consumption, despite the apparent lack of a real summer, we are now told we are #3 in per capita candy consumption, quoth the demigods of charts and charticles: Nielsen Media Research.

This behind only Seattle and the entire states of Idaho and Utah, who need the distraction.

But to remember–as you knew intuitively when you were 19, when it was all around you–that cream will curdle you and sweetness cloys, you need to soak it up in its absolute excess. Which is why you need Sellwood’s Keana’s Candyland in your life.

Please do not eat the house. Or we'll put you in the oven.

Toeing the line between charming and creepy since 1973.
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