And by win we mean the opposite of lose. Here’s the basic facts:
1. MusicfestNW is coming this week.
2. MFNW has a lot of bands playing — like nearly 200, we’re pretty sure.
3. Including lots of bands you’d actually want to see.
4. It all seems like such a deal — forty dollars for four days of endless music?
5. And it pretty much is.
6. As long as you don’t let them fuck you.
Reader: we never want to see them fuck you. Which is why we’re making this handy guide to not only surviving, but also winning, at MFNW. Don’t thank us, just buy us beer.
Thursday, September 6
Wake up with a terrible hangover because last night you were celebrating Daily Miltonian contributer Erik Bader’s birthday (September 5.) Have a glass of orange juice. Go to work. Work hard. Get out of work. Do the following:
Watch Spoon at 10pm, at the Crystal. Bop your head politely and try to kinda feel Spoon this time. Ignore the fact that you lost a girl to Spoon by reminding yourself that every guy, at some point in his life, loses a girl to Spoon. Thus assured, consider the fact that Spoon might actually be pretty darn good. Think of the girl and and once more curse Spoon. Enjoy the next song, repeat process.
Here’s where you have to be careful. Spoon goes on at 10pm. So let’s say that means 10:15pm, what with the cheering and the whole “Can I get some more vocals in the monitor” thing that bands like to do to kill time on your dollar. So really you’re only going to watch Spoon for about a half hour — that’s right, a half hour — at which point you’ll wave goodbye to your friends, bound down the stairs, head outside to the bike, and ride down the hill to Berbati’s.
Why? Because Roky Erickson & the Explosives go on at Midnight, and just because you have the MFNW wristband doesn’t mean you can get into this. Once these events hit capacity, that’s it, you’re staying out on the street. So while all the idiots at the Spoon show are cheering encore at eleven, you’re securing yourself a nice front row POV on one truly fried Tex-Psych Legend, Mr. Roky “I Think of Demons” Erickson.
The Shaky Hands are playing at the Doug Fir at one AM. You aren’t going to make it to this, and you aren’t going to care, because you live in Portland, so do the Shaky Hands, and they play all the frickin’ time, maaaaan.
Warning: do not go to Tube for that “oh just one more” drink after seeing Roky. You’re high already man. You feel good. You believe in miracles. You got a phone number from someone kinda weird but kinda cute. You need your rest. Tomorrow is going to be even crazier. Goodnight.