Smart Went Crazy

FSD here, checking on and checking in. It’s ITEMS time.

ITEM: It’s officially Summer 3 now, the laziest, most perfect part of the summer, the moment where you really think it’s not going to end, the days when you don’t have to do anything at all. Some of these items will present you with stuff you can do, so try it.

ITEM: An interesting thing about our August, the one we’ve got here in the Pacific Northwest.  It’s the fact that it’s not that hot. This is the first time in our lives that we’ve actually had some semblance of freedom, during the month August. Meaning we can go where we want without falling over, passing out, melting. We can do jumping jacks in the middle of the street and not break a sweat (and this being Portland, we also won’t get anything thrown at us for doing so). (In fact, jumping jacks in the middle of the street could possibly encourage other people to join us. Hey, why don’t you try it? Do a couple jumping jacks in the middle of your street and let us know how it goes. Send the evidence to dailymiltonian@hotmail.com and we’ll share it with the rest of the gang. This is Northwest only. New York, Philly, Wilmington and Baltimore: please don’t try this at home.

ITEM: Fans of television not seen on a television screen should come up to our neighborhood and start watching some at the Mission Theater, right down the street from us. Joss Whedon’s Firefly is every Tuesday, and Arrested Development is every Wednesday. You get two episodes, can drink beer, and it’s FREE. Yep yep.

ITEM: In case you missed it all, this is the link for the complete short movies as seen on the Daily Miltonian and staring our staff. A fitting snapshot of our last days in Philadelphia and our three thousand mile journey to where we are right now as we write this. We’re currently in the process of compiling imagery for our first movie short shot in our new location. Stay tuned.

ITEM: Stuff YOU WILL DO during Summer 3, an incomplete list: swim, walk, jog, bike, hike, eat waffles, try a new kind of soda, hitch a ride to the Sandy River (and proceed to swim), buy a Nintendo Wii, read a Shakespeare play you’ve never read before, play frisbee, walk down a street you’ve never walked down before, take a photograph with a real camera, draw a picture and give it to someone you’re fond of, make out in a tree, buy an issue of a comic book series you’ve never read before, make out under an umbrella, rent a season of a television show and watch the entire season in one weekend while living off of only nachos and popcorn and jelly beans, drink a can of Coke in a bottle not a can, invent a secret handshake, write a better list and send it to us, check your Friendster account and write all of your Friendster messages because it’s “retro”, 4-player wireless Mario Kart DS challenge, invent a superhero, do grafFREEti where you tag garbage or dust tag windows, surf at Beach Haven, grill, download some Love and Rockets (band, not comic) , rent Terminator 3 and Anchorman, go see Superbad, design a horror film poster for a friend, learn some Mayan cooking, go to the Sansom Street Rum Reggae block party, hit up farmer’s markets everywhere they exist, kayak, get deep into some Dolphy, buy a coffeepot, start growing some herbs, utilize the swimming pool at the gym and the adult swim at the public pool in your neighborhood, write a song for free and record it for free on Garageband then upload it smewhere for free and send us the link so we can start a NO BUDGET SONG OF THE DAY feature (for free), pick us up and take us to wine country, write an essay about why Henry Failing was a good guy.

That’s what you’ll do.

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