Life Lessons With Lexie

Dear viewing audience,

I’m Lexie. I live in Philadelphia and I’m here to lend a helpful ear to your many different life concerns. I enjoy grammar and etiquette, and I would be more than happy to guide you through life’s small, medium and large situational and written snafus.

I, much like many of you, get caught in sticky situations. I usually don’t wonder which fork to use, but sometimes I do wonder what to do if I have too many spoons. I generally try not to end my sentences with prepositions, but I enjoy the irony of a good split-infinitive. I have to bite my lip and hold my tongue when dealing with foes, but I often talk shit later when I have a nice bottle of red.

So, not-so-gentle readers, in the immortal words of Pat Benatar: hit me with your best shot!

I want your relationship troubles (had ’em), I want your grammar questions (having them right now), I want your “how do I bounce back” questions (do I really have to go there?) and your “what the hell should I do about this” questions. I know a lot of mean, rude, nasty, ill-mannered, skuzzy people, and if you do too, then this might be a good time to shoot me an email and unload a dump truck full of angst.

Always considerate, and always discreet, let Lexie help you get through the hard times in life so we can learn life’s lessons together.

Alright gang, you heard the lady, send your questions in now! Throw your paper airplane over to and start clicking the REFRESH button on your Daily Miltonian page immediately for swiftest results! Looking to ASK CROOKS instead? You can just send those to Lexie as well, after all, it’s the internet and we all know what FWD means, right? Right!


5 thoughts on “Life Lessons With Lexie

  1. Hey meterman, take the dildo out of your ass, go do a line or two, and join the party… it’s the 80s!!!

    I bet Belinda Carlisle would sleep with you for an eightball.

  2. Yeah, now we don’t need a club
    We can do it at my house
    My front door’s open so homey’s can bust it out
    And ladies if you’re coming leave your children at the nursery
    So you can get slow on the anniversary
    Kill me
    I dip dip da
    So don’t be looking stupid when I unfasten your bra
    You know you want to mack this
    Because I come stronger than the IRS
    Whenever you done got delinquent on your taxes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s