Pictured: Our Intrepid Reporter
So the numbers of goons in International Organizations are seemingly
endless, but I graduated from a high end school when employment
opportunities seemed to be limited. If I’d seen an ad for “Foreign and
Occasional Interstellar Employment, World Domination Potential” I might
have sent my resume over. I mean, I’ve always been a socially conscious
guy, but you never know what a guy might do if the organization were
really, really big. Really, really exciting.
I mean, if you watch the average rally for a Ku Klux Klan march or look
at the comings and goings of Gun Shows for paramilitary types, they
seldom appear to be the most fit and capable among us. Yet, somehow
groups like Ultimatum and Hydra are able to recruit hundreds and
hundreds of people. Men who are not only capable soldiers, but blindly
loyal to whatever half-baked caused nutbags like Vixen, Mandarin and
Flag Smasher happen to be espousing that week. Fu Manchu’s guys in the
Marvel world each had a different weapons mastery and special skill, for
God’s sake! Wasn’t A.I.M. led by MODOC there for a while? I mean, this guy
has a head bigger than a Volvo, and people are following him around.
Following him up against The Avengers, for God’s sake!
“Sure, Boss… I’ll fight Thor. That’s what you pay me for, right?”
It just boggles the mind that people actually show a willingness to join
organizations like this. They must have a way to pay mad cash, mind
control or a lot of serious babe-a-liciousness that we are missing off
camera. I can’t figure it out!
So let’s through it out there to the Daily Miltonian community… and
the whole damn Internet while we’re at it…
HOW DO BIG EVIL ORGANIZATIONS RECRUIT THEIR CANNON FODDER?
A.I.M. (Advanced Idea Mechanics) – the scientists of the world
domination trade. My guess is that A.I.M. is actually the international
sponsort of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). You know, the
guys who dress up in suits of armor and beat the crap out of each other
and marry the awkward chicks. Them. My guess is that SCA started as a
program that they would introduce on the campuses of second and third
tier engineering schools, like Rensellear Polytechnic Institute and etc.
They’d get the nerdy, weird kids (and, just to be clear, we’re talking
about the nerds among engineers) to join SCA, then when they found the
ones with the right level of dejectedness and predisposition toward
wanton violence, an AIM rep in disguise would pop the question: “Want to
rule the world?”
Okay, your turn. Name your favorite evil international gang of villains
with endless followers and tell us how you think they recruit their goons.