This Trend Could Be Your Life

When is enough, well, enough?  Daily Miltonian asks the big question:  do we still need Myspace?  We’re all too old and respectable to, like, “pick” people up on there.  We’ve been reconnected to all of our old friends from high school.  We’ve changed our profiles: and you changed yours.  How long is this thing going to go on?

The creepiest fact of Myspace is that no one wants to quit because “how will you keep in touch with everyone?”  That something this huge and commercial might be our sole means of communication with a good number of the people in our life is just plain frightening.  Perhaps the saddest fact of our generation is that the two things you need to be able to “get along” is a Myspace account and a penchant for drinking alcohol.  If you don’t have Myspace, how will I get in touch with you?  And if you don’t drink, what will we do tonight?

The generation that came up in the Nineties was applauded by certain media critics because they were anti-media.  You couldn’t seem to sell them anything because they refused to tell you what they wanted.  Instead of Pop-Savvy shows like The Office and the O.C. we instead had Thirty-Something and Alf.  All they wanted was us to fill out a few quick surveys:  favorite music, favorite books, favorite movies.  And now we gladly do it.  Where do we sign up — or rather, where do we sign in?

We’re not saying we are against the Internet.  Here we are right now, looking at you through your screen.  Hello.  Hi.  No, the Internet is just fine.  We’re publishing things for free: we like that very much.  We get to talk to you, our pal the reader, nearly every day.  It’s a Good Thing.  When we wrote our first emails, probably sometime around 1997, we knew we’d be writing emails for the rest of our lives.  But nearly a half-decade ago when we first got a Myspace account, we sure as hell didn’t think we’d still be on there, collecting friends like trading cards, reading the bulletins, adjusting the “favorites.”  When is enough enough?

Stats show people spend between two and six hours on Myspace a day.  Add that up for a year and you’ve got a huge chunk of your life completely gone, staring at a screen filled with ads featuring creepy animated women (one assumes that women do not get those creepy animated women ads.  Are there creepy animated men instead?  Shudder.)

We’re not through with this discussion, this is merely the first part.  It just occurred to us tonight, here in the comfy new offices of FSDNW, that we are tired of being Profiles.  We wanna be People again.  Don’t you?


5 thoughts on “This Trend Could Be Your Life

  1. Alas, I’m not a college freshman and I’m not a 45-year-old pedophile in search of 11-year-old boys, so, no, I don’t have a Myspace account.

    I prefer to meet my ladies at recess. You know what they say… What’s the best thing about sex with twentyfive-year-olds?

    There’s twenty of them.

  2. You know I think that Pack of Rats Musson has a contract out on Snorg-tees girl. That dude HATES her!

    We’re sefintiely geting somewhere here, though – the early internet days felt like springtime in your early 20s, it was a liltle awkward but rich with potential and, man, it was taking you places! Now it just seems part of the big plan to distract us from real, unmediated connection while we slowly die away towards a dark, dark future.
    Myspace is like a cell phone now – we can’t live without it but, seriously, what kind of horrid things is it doing to us… secretly?

  3. Sara Jane wrote me and said she was about to quit her Myspace account and then she read the piece and decided that since it completely expressed how she felt, she would now instead keep her Myspace account. If it makes no sense to you either, just remember, she CHOOSES to live in Baltimore.

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