FSD would also like to admit: holy wow, this is the first X-Men comic we — I mean me, meaning Erik — I ever read. I too fell in love with Kitty…but it’s that damned Brood (the spooky Aliens-esque aliens on the cover) that gave me such bad nightmares that my mom wouldn’t buy me another X-Men comic until 1984, which I’ll tell you about in a bit. But let me pass the mic to Brady for now:
My Fetish Fetish: A Spinner Rack review of The Uncanny X-Men #166
Marvel Comics Group
I grew up with a crush on a girl named Kathryn Pryde, who does not now
and never did actually exist. She retains a few distinctions in the
history of comic books. She was one of the first major Jewish
superheroes and has gone through more aliases than almost any character
in the history of the artform. She’s best known these days by her
family’s nickname for her, Kittypryde.
She has three other distinctions that knocked my socks off as a young
boy: she’s a tech-whiz, a demi-ninja and she has a pet dragon.
That’s right, a pet dragon. His name is Lockheed.
You know what Lockheed thinks of you? Here’s what he said when I asked
him about you. He said: “pfui.”
When I was a kid, I realized I had another fixation besides Kittypryde –
strange pets like Lockheed the Dragon. Kitty’s best friend, a member of
The New Mutants, Magik, had a pet demon named S’ym. Kitty later got a
second pet, a floating robot head named Widget. I got completely hooked
on “Books of Magic” when the young wizard star stole another magician’s
golem and renamed it ‘Happy.’
In fact, you want me to be sold on a story, stick a golem in it. I love
golems (not counting the Tolkien “Golem,” who isn’t a golem at all). Big
stone pets that follow you around and do whatever you say.
Why do I love He-Man to this day? Two words: Battle-Cat.
What I really wanted was a freaky, semi-intelligent pet of my own. When
I went through a brief flirtation with playing the White Wolf role
playing game, Vampire, I tried to talk the Gamemaster into letting me
have a little stone monster that could come to life and run little
errands for me. Pretty cool, huh? My request was denied. Even in
pretend, I can’t live my dream.
The Uncanny X-Men #166 is important to X-Men history because it is the
climax of their first battle with the unutterably nefarious (and
obviously ALIEN derivative) Brood, a race of parasitic alien colonizers.
I love it, though, and keep it in my “favorite comics box” solely
because it’s the first appearance of the dragon later named “Lockheed.”
Later on, we’d see Lockheed flying around wherever Kitty went, making it
quite clear that he understands most of the human talk around him and
that anyone who screwed with Kitty got severely singed by his dragon-fire.
The great thing about pairing Lockheed up with Kitty is that her powers
didn’t really make her an offensive asset but Lockheed did. She was
great as a spy and great for making sure a bullet passed through you,
but she couldn’t really fight. Why do I love comics creators? Because
at some point in time a comics editor said to a comics writer: “The
problem with this character Kittypryde you’ve got is that no one
believes a super team would want to keep her because she’s no good in a
firefight.” To which said writer replied: “All right, then I’ll stick a
dragon on her shoulder.” And the comics editor looked at him and smiled
and said: “That’s a great idea! It makes perfect sense!”
When a genie shows up at my door one day and says, “Okay, son, I know
you’ve been wanting a strange, supernatural pet all your life, so here’s
your chance. What will it be?” I’ll tell that genie, “I want a dragon
just like Lockheed.”
Bader here again. So yeah, that Brood really messed me up, no X-Men for a year. So how the hell did I get Mom to buy me THIS freaky-as-shit issue:
More nightmares ensued. Kulan Gath is one spooky-ass motherfucker, am I right? Not to mention we’ve got Xavier somehow fused with Caliban — you know, the Morlock who lives in the sewers? The whole issue made absolutely no sense. Everyone was transformed into either a pirate or a barbarian. And goddamn did I love it.
As always, feel free to submit your own Spinner Rack reviews to firstname.lastname@example.org.