Where I’m Calling Flom

me: You.
Tell me about the Growler.
What is the definition of the Growler.
4:38 PM me: What is the Growler?
Cement: What are you talking about?
4:39 PM me: Have you ever been on a date with a jawn but some other guy sent a Growler to run interference?
Cement: Hm. No
That’s insane
me: Yes you have
you coined the phase Growler
Cement: I definitely did not
me: You said a jawn’s BF once sent a Growler
Cement: How can you go out on a date with a girl who has a boyfriend?
That wasn’t me, dude
me: Was.
Cement: I’m sure that it wasn’t
me: Tell me what you think a Growler is.
4:41 PM Cement: In my experience, going to college in Colorado Springs, a “growler” was a half-gallon glass jug that one could use to fill up with beer for a special price at one of the city’s fine “microbrew” taverns.
4:42 PM me: But if a Growler was a man, what kind of man would he be.
Cement: A Wolfman?
4:43 PM me: Wrong.
Cement: If you know, why are you asking me?
4:44 PM me: I know that you once dealt with a Growler.
I just wanted the straight story.
Cement: I’m giving you the straightest story I can give you
I’ve never dealt with a Man who was SENT by another MAN to ruin a DATE
4:45 PM me: Ok.
Cement: Why do you need to know?
me: I’m a reporter.
4:46 PM Cement: Ok
You’re writing a story about growling?
4:53 PM Cement: We’ll talk about this further some other time.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, FSD’s Secret Agent X-9 had THIS to say:

me: Did Flom ever talk about a Growler?
X-9: yes
me: What was his definition.
4:42 PM How did he define “Growler”
X-9: the growler was a guy who was asked by his girl’s bf to watch them
4:43 PM as in, the bf was out of town, so he asked his friend to watch them when they were in public
me: I knew it.
That sneaky guy.
X-9: the growler would allegedly come up to the lunch table and give a dirty look
me: He denies the Growler.
X-9: it might have been all in his imagination
paranoia
me: Are Growlers real?
4:44 PM X-9: if you need a growler, your relationship is fucked

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2 thoughts on “Where I’m Calling Flom

  1. A growler is a wookie-like presence that ruins your fun. That’s my usage and I’m sticking to it; don’t give a shit who coined it.

    Mine now. Ha!

  2. You probably came up with it, I guess all this hinges on who X-9 really is. Here’s what I would ask of them: Do you know Lo?

    This is truly a mystery. The Growler. Wasn’t that a Bouncing Souls instrumental?

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