Here at the venerable Fort Saint Davids Offices, we think an awful lot about World of Warcraft. Not that we play it: Bader’s computer is too slow, Bones doesn’t have Internet access at home, Father Gibbs is a priest, Crooks is afraid he’ll get addicted, Martha is a girl, and LEGEND OF STREET DOG is, well, a dog.
Over the summer we pretended we did play it, in our delerious suite of mass emails entitled Hi-Rise. And Bader wrote a short story tentatively entitled Cherry Hill West Jesus about, among many other things, a wealthy NYC post-hipster who cracks the fuck up, moves to Cherry Hill, starts hanging out at the mall, and makes a living by leveling up hi-powered characters in World of Warcraft and selling them on eBay (No joke, just search World of Warcraft on eBay to see the totally real and completely outrageous prices this shit can fetch.)
Do you remember the Reason?
We do. Once upon a Philly midnight you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing this cat, talking about wild shit and drinking everything in sight. We liked the Reason, always did. Don’t you miss him? We sure do. Well, he didn’t move away, as some suspected…we have it from good sources that he is addicted to World of Warcraft. He travels the world via a flying horse, has an extremely high level character, and met an elf from I think Michigan who helped him get passes what I believe is called the Black Gate. By all accounts dude doesn’t leave the house and he is no joke hell deep into the game.
Remember Sweet Lou?
Sure you do. Great guy, legendary and titanic, Sweet Lou moved to Charleston, SC a few years back but the dude keeps enough fingers in the Philly pot that sometimes it’s like he never left. Except lately it feels like he has left. What’s that you say? Has Sweet Lou fallen prey to the insidious clutches of Full-Blown World of Warcraft Addiction? FSD couldn’t get a comment by press time.
But mourn ye not. Once the FSD offices obtain a fast enough computer, we’re getting ourselves a copy of World of Warcraft and we’re going in and we’re finding these guys.
FSD: Weird so you don’t have to be.
Still confused as to what WoW is? Look no further than this completely genius episode of South Park, a show tha seems to get more and more relevant by the nanosecond. This is the FULL EPISODE! I know, I know, you like so think we totally rule. Because we do, you know. Rule, I mean.