Eat a boat. Frozen boat meat is really cheap right now at Trader Joes. Eat coral. Eat brine. Eat the bacteria that can only survive in the hot ass vents of sea floor volcanoes. Eat a deep sea fish’s light bulb deal. Eat sunken treasure. Eat sailors’ legends. Eat a mermaid’s pussy. Eat an old-timey metal diving suit. Eat the contents of davey jones’s locker. Eat the curse of scurvy in the mouth when the vitamin sea is not taken. Eat a red tide. Eat the chronometer that made the measure of longitude at sea possible. Eat an eskimo’s leather boat. Eat a tsunami. Eat cunard. Eat the english channel.
Eat a mousse of bering strait.
Eat maritime trade.
Eat bikini atoll confit de nuclear bomb test.
Wild caught is preferred because fish are not milked.
Wild caught is preferred because caged fish teaches himself to eat his fellow man who is also a fish studying cannibalism.
Wild caught is preferred because keeping samurai fighting fish in a tiny bowl until they’re ready to kill opponents is cruel.
Wild caught is preferred because, in history, jesus did not fish for a goldfish in a koi pond.