FSD Department of How People Find Us: pt III

Hi everyone, we’re back for another round of “How You People Find Us” here at the Daily Miltonian. As always, we sincerely hope that no one feels that this is an invasion of their privacy since we have no way of telling who you are, googling “heather mcmonnies”.

One has to wonder what other hits come up while querying “was bravestar on itv” or “www people transform into a killer whale”. We mean, was Bravestar on ITV? Did we discuss that? The suspense is killing us!

From the last few days, our favorites:

• kickie-wickie Shakespeare
• Fucking your best friends girl
• “mikey prema” (numerous times)
• world war hulk bad
• hipsters bike
• hipster mustache
• animation i give up
• o rly owl
• o rly
• dune feast
• youtube (we show up on a google search for youtube. and rightfully so)
• deep mascis
• MILTONIAN PIZZERIA
• anchorman “well now this is happening”
• lockheed x-men
• Lockheed Daily Miltonian
• “air in space museum” (we don’t think so)

Martinis on the Roof

You left a cooler at our house one night
So we’re keeping it full of ice
On your advice
Blue ribbons and red wine
You know it’s hard to find the right line
That does justice to the crime
Now the justice has declined
To take the stand this time
Well all the wasted space is mine
Yeah I hardly have the right to sing about it

Trick night and Halloween
An April Fool’s bad dream
Cigar smoke over the moon
And you were leaving way too soon
Cheeto’s and a hundred proof martinis on the roof
Cheeto’s and a hundred proof martinis on the roof
And you were leaving too soon

You caught every book they threw
At you and your single malt recruits
With a Pipe shirt over your suit
Now the judges they love you too
And now we’re crying in the house
Watching basketball on the couch
And we’re trying to work it out
Yeah we’re all trying to work it out
But you would not have us pout
Or sing about it

Trick night and Halloween
An April Fool’s bad dream
Cigar smoke over the moon
And you were leaving way too soon
Cheeto’s and a hundred proof martinis on the roof
Cheeto’s and a hundred proof martinis on the roof
And you were leaving too soon

Yeah you left too soon

Insane Feral Cat

THIS IS THE TIME FORETOLD BY MY PEOPLE. DEVIL! A GREAT BEAST HAS ARISEN TO SWALLOW THE MOON! SOON HE WILL BE FOLLOWED BY OTHERS!

FSD Department of How People Find Us: pt II

We are sort of thinking that these are starting to get even better. Is it Moore’s law allowing for more powerful search-engine capabilities, or our tireless posting, or just the increasing curiosity of the general populace that leads them to us? And what do they do when they get here? Do they go back and read everything? FSD knows that we do that, when we find a website we like. Do they keep coming back for more? No one will ever really know. Instead we’ll just continue to invade your privacy, like that elderly lady whose AOL web searches got published in like every major media outlet, showcasing her undying thirst for knowledge in topics as diverse as counted cross-stitch, easter presents for her grandkids, Along Came Polly movie times, and Bob Barker, or like everyone who used google in 2006, when it was reported that the #1 most-searched topic in the world was “Paris Hilton.” Bravo people.

Before we get into this, it is really really important to note that bar none, our most popular search engine term contains the words “World of Warcraft” somehow as part of its root phrase. People actually type in “wowdetox” and “cats of world of warcraft” and find us. Amazing. Is there something we’re missing? Do you get pet cats in WOW?

Some more of our favorites:
one baby to another said
one baby to another says
one baby to another says im lucky to have met you
one baby to another says,
i’m lucky to met you
im so lucky to have met you
future human evolution (!! – awesome – ed.)
Jenny Agutter
ebader (go Bader)
“trout fishing in america” my best day
heather mcmonnies
where were you when we were getting high
Indie Spinner Rack
digital art jah
Martha Curren-Preis (like five times in three weeks – congratulations, you’re popular)
human whale (holy fucking shit)
bullet whale
Punisher War Journal review
The Punisher miniseries issue #2
Punisher War Journal
ennis “Punisher War Zone”
hell world
ink and dagger show pony
HOW TO PUT YOU HAIR UP
how to put your hair up daily
how to put your make-up on?
how to put up hair for summer
11 inch glass bottles

Wildhopiest Photo Blog pt II

These Lehigh Valley kids are up to some serious hirise fun, even if it looks like the dead of winter and there isn’t a hirise apartment in sight. This entry covers the time period from Halloween to March. Learn your ord here.

“guy with a robot arm riding a bike”

Introducing: INSANE FERAL CAT

I WON’T DO THE WORK FOR YOU
CUZ I KNOW YOU’LL DO THE WORK FOR ME
AND THE WORK THAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO
WILL BE IN THE FORM OF FOOD.

Ray Fenwick’s “Hall of Best Knowledge”

We totally thought this was schizophrenic outsider art until we learned that it is just one of the many brainchildren of Halifaxian artist/designer Ray Fenwick. His voice in the “Hall of Best Knowledge” is that of an approximately 10-year-old kid growing up entirely shuttered away in some kind of aristocratic community and reads too much. As such, it’s pretty funny. Read on, if you can make out the fine type. If not, you should’ve eaten more carrots as a kid, blindy.

And last but not least is my favorite one: “Topic Name Withheld.” Perhaps unknowingly, this is the single best internet/message board/blog comeback ever scripted. I can’t find a jpeg and I don’t feel like stealing Mr. Fenwick’s art and hosting it myself on my own website, so I will transcribe it. This will be used heavily, by me, in part or in full, frequently, sometimes even in this magazine.

“TOPIC NAME WITHHELD”

IT IS NOT my aim to embarrass you in this public forum, but what I say may wound your pride regardless. The topic I had planned to discuss – a carnival of ideas, to be sure – required a wealth of prerequisite knowledge that you simply do not possess. The references I was to make, representing many great minds throughout history, would have been both confounding and depressing, so I have spared you the pain.”

Topic Name Withheld

Ray Fenwick’s Website

The Deep Locker Lean

Critique this Typeface [updated]

[Update, 3-24-07. The story so far: your humble narrator is still spending his evenings sleeping on a floor and his days hustling to score full-time employment and an apartment of his own -- so far he's got a part-time gig and an apartment pending...not too shabby for having just moved a week and a half ago to a town with a 20% unemployment rate and a housing crisis. Meanwhile Julian is trying his best to get beyond fifteen hours of sleep a night (and day) and living exclusively -- by choice -- off of pizza. A few days ago, Alexander -- the East Coast half of Fort Saint Davids -- wrote the below post, about a font that he is working on. Interesting comments follow. Go check them out, right below the post. Make your own comments too. After all, this blog is all of ours to share, right? Right. As for lack of photos, two reasons: one, back in Iowa City someone busted the screen to the camera. So you can take photos but it's all guesswork, and there's no viewfinder. It's possible, just not fun. Also the fact is I'm usually out on my bike, and it rains a lot here. No bag for the camera, yet. Is that a good enough excuse? It might be.

There's a lot to be said about this city. It's a knockout. There really isn't anything else like it in America. You ride your bike over one of the bridges -- and their are many -- and you look all around you at hills and trees and buildings and boats and a river and a mountain and you say to yourself: I have no words for this. There's cherry-blossoms exploding all along the glowing green of the Esplanade like tufts of cotton candy and you just don't know what to do with it all, with all of this beauty. You pedal faster and hope your heart doesn't explode from happiness.

Anyway, in case you missed it, here's Alex's posts. For now, we'll see you in the Comments section.]

Hi,

Earlier tonight, around 9, we started working on this new typeface.

We have a few things in mind for practical uses, but before we proceed with upper cases and numerals, we’d like some feedback on the initial sketches. So…what do you think? Is that “s” ok or is it wonky? Is that “a” cute enough? Do the “y” and “r” read well?

(Digression: “Mind your p’s and q’s” is a saying that comes from early typesetting days back when we worked strictly with metal type. Letters were set upside-down and even seasoned printers got confused sometimes. We thought of that earlier when we made the decision to not have the “p” and “q” simply mirror each other as they do in most sans serifs)

We’ll keep you posted on the final product. Stay tuned.

Danny Boyle’s New Film “Sunshine” Courts Science

 View the trailer here.

The film is purely science fiction, but in promos the producers are making a big deal out of the fact that it was made with the help of some pretty reputable science-community sources. Namely, the rockstar physicist Brian Cox from Manchester, who was asked to take a fantastic, highly unlikely scenario and make it plausible.

“It was like: ‘the Sun is going to die in 50 years, think of something, will you?’” Cox says of the movies’ production team. And so he and other advisors at the Large Hadron Collider came up with the idea of using “Q Balls” (which scientists aren’t even sure exist), which could be nuclei of supersymmetric particles that devour  matter, turning neutrons and protons into more supersymmetric particles. In the film, a Q Ball gets lodged in our sun and starts eating away. Physicists are sent into space on a ship called the Icarus II to throw a Manhattan-sized bomb into the star to kick start it back up.