Archive for October, 2006

Sick

The season will soon be upon us. Fort Saint Davids is left wondering: “is global warming affecting NE snow?”  From this perspective, the answer is a resounding yes. Whether that can be backed up by scientific data or not is for now debatable, all that we know is, between the years 1994-2000, it was entirely possible to trek north by November and hit snow in 6 hours. It appears as though that may be pushed back about a month this year, at the very least.

To see a large version of the photo and others from this month, click here.


1 comment October 31, 2006

“Slate-Colored” Dark-Eyed Junco

“Slate-colored” Dark-eyed Junco

The head, neck, upper breast, sides, upper flanks, wings, and upperparts are slate gray, while the lower breast, belly, and undertail coverts are white. In males the head, chest, and upper flanks are darker, forming a hood. The bill is pink, sometimes with a darker tip. Legs are pinkish brown with darker feet.

Dark-eyed Juncos are between 5 to 6.6 inches (13-17 cm) in length. Males are slightly larger and more brightly plumaged than females. While plumage characteristics vary, all Dark-eyed Juncos exhibit a basic plumage form. They are predominately gray above with white or pinkish wash to the undersides, with white outer tail feathers.

In our area, they typically arrive in mid-to-late November from their breeding grounds in northern Canada and depart some time in February. For this reason, they are commonly referred to as “snowbirds”.


Add comment October 30, 2006

Fort Saint Davids Department of Draft Dodging

Last time we checked in with Fort Saint Davids, he had moved his bed from the center of the room in accordance with the teachings of the Great Emperor Foong Schwoong the Tenth, only to find that the bed was now located beneath a deadly cold blast that gave him sleepless nights that were filled with the distinct sensation of being devoured by an Ice Wolf.

In a desperate attempt to dodge the draft, FSD has done the unthinkable and has reversed the location of his pillow and now sleeps backwards.

Besides the fact that having no wall behind your head leaves you wide open for a monster attack, the new setting has caused extreme consternation and confusion for Molly the Cat, who tries to snuggle as per usual against the warm shoulder of FSD and instead finds a foot.

ITEM: Daily Miltonian would like to apologize for the broken link on Thursday’s Song. That was a dope tune that we really wanted you to hear, and you couldn’t. But now you can. Scroll that baby back down to Thursday’s Song and click with confidence!


Add comment October 27, 2006

RETURN OF THE LEGEND OF STREET DOG


SOMETHING’S GOT A GUN AT OUR HEADS AND I CAN FEEL IT ITS FINGER TIGHTENING ON THE TRIGGER I CAN SMELL DEATH LOOKING AT US AND THE DARKNESS IS ALL WE GOT COMING AND I WON’T HAVE IT I WON’T GIVE IN IF I GO OUT IT’LL BE FEET FIRST AND I’LL BE YELLING NO NO NO YOU BUTCHERING BASTARDS THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD IT’S ALL WONDERFUL THESE TREES STARS CHILDREN THE THING I AM AND THE GREAT LOVELY THING MY WOMAN IS O GOD LET US WRITE MORE POEMS LET US SING THE STARS OUT OF THE SKY LET US LOVE UNTIL OUR MOUTHS AND HEARTS GET PURE WITH IT LET US MAKE GOD PROUD OF US.


2 comments October 27, 2006

Isn’t it Kinda Sad

When something like the nytimes gets sort of clueless about stuff? You almost feel bad for them.

Let’s see…I live in NYC. I’d like to see some live music. Oh no, CBGB’s closed. Oh no. No no no. What the f  am I going to do.

Oh wait, the nytimes did an article about this…better consult the map!

Original article here.


Add comment October 27, 2006

Friday’s Song

It sure is a cold one out there this morning but the light is great. Almost one of those mornings where even though it’s sunny, you expect snow by the afternoon. By three o’clock you’re ready to call up your buddy Jake, bounce out of work early, and hightail it up to Windham Mountain for some early season snowboarding. Unfortunately, Fort Saint Davids checked, and they aren’t even blowing snow yet. Buffalo gets two feet+ in early October, and the Catskills get nothing.

Ah well, it’s ok, because this is the pre-Halloween weekend, and there’s plenty else to do no matter where you live. Just to prepare you, Fort Saint Davids hopes that the global theme for October 27-29, 2006, can be “Black I.P.A.” by the Upsetters. Enjoy!


Add comment October 27, 2006

Wharf Watch With Father Gibbs

Friday morning, October 27, 2006

There is no place in Penn-Jersey more exciting and alive at 4:30 a.m. than the Milton’s Wharf Fish Market. For most Miltonians, the hectic and scent-laden circus that takes place every morning is an unknown sight. Some may not even be aware that our town has an active fish market. But, even for the late risers, evidence of the dealings that take place at dawn is apparent all around Milton throughout the day.

The daily haul’s most abundant catches are showcased in the ever changing menus at many of our town’s best known seafood restaurants like The Captain’s Table in downtown Milton, Seafarer’s in Milton Heights, and the Old Timber Inn down on Salty Pine Road. Some of the more exotic seafood that comes in every morning will wind up at Giuseppe’s Alimentari, Milton’s only remaining independent grocery store. Unfortunately, the boxy sheet-metal monstrosity that stands on the old Chester Farm only sells fish that are farmed in south-east Asia, frozen, airmailed, and then thawed for that “fresh-caught” feel.

It’s easy to enjoy the labors of our hardworking fishermen by dining out or bringing home some nice filets, but for the price of a little extra get up and go you can experience the rare treat of seeing the market firsthand. You might even bring home one of the delicious and unusual catches that are only available for sale at Milton’s Wharf.

It is my hope that through the Wharf Watch column, and the delicacies described therein, my fellow Miltonians might be inspired to explore our town’s unique fish market.

Friday’s Highlights:

Firefly Squid: These tiny “glow in the dark” squid are best known for the spectacle created by their luminescent mating dance. Originally fished in Japan, this species has thrived in mid-Atlantic waters where it makes a daily commute between its deep sea habitat, at a depth of more than 6000 feet, to its nocturnal feeding grounds just below the surface.

If this squid cannot be cooked immediately, freezing is recommended. ($17/lb.)

Immigrants’ Dreams of Prosperity: This species was almost fished to extinction at the height of its popularity, but through strict conservation efforts it has been able to rebound to a healthy stock and is legally fished in limited quantities.

Throughout the 18th, 19th and early 20th centuries, countless immigrants came to America by sea. Many of those immigrants brought dreams of prosperity along with them, although not all of those dreams made it to America. Some of the Immigrants’ dreams were lost en route. These dreams thrived in the ocean, where food sources rich in hope permitted them to grow and reproduce more rapidly than they had in the hearts of immigrants.

Dreams of Prosperity are well-known for being a forgiving fish to cook. They can be poached, baked, grilled and broiled, but my personal preference is smoked—a method which is well worth the effort if you have smoking equipment. ($26/lb.)


4 comments October 27, 2006

Fort Saint Davids Department of Serialized Fiction - Lily Story 2

Hey! Hey kids! Put down the Nintendo DS, quit playing with those Nintendogs, stop tossing around that – alright, is everyone going to be chill right now? Gibbs, leave the STREET DOG alone already and – okay, listen up. It’s story time again. That’s right, another installment of the Lily Story by our good pal Martha Curren-Preis! Hip-hip hooray! Alright Martha, we’re ready when you are.

LILY STORY
PART TWO

She met him for the first time at the diner two blocks from her parents’ house in Paulino Town. A twenty-four hour establishment, its patrons took over the streets at night for the pinball races. Men rolled up in wheelchairs and bicycles and rusted Chevies to compete for the title of “Grand Master Magician” and thereby be counted as one of the pinball elite whose names were shot across the diner’s exterior in neon lights. The summer Lily met Dr. Flock, however, the entire testosterone count in Paulino was reeling from the upset of the newest Grand Master who, of all things, was a one-armed girl from the neighboring town of Tramp. While the tournament rules didn’t prohibit female participants, there had never before been one who had actually stuck it out for more than a couple of days among the quarter-toasting, coffee-drinking, dipsomaniac males who, between plays, stayed up all hours to flip through the piles of pinball magazines littered across the diner’s back table, searching for the newest tilt and touch-angle technologies that might give them that additional edge. Not to mention the fact that the cunt (or so she was named by Rainer McLane, favored male contender) had only an eight-inch stub where her right arm should have been were–Rainer speculated–her mother to have exercised a bit more caution during the first trimester.

The girl herself, Madeleine, was a particular friend of Lily’s, dating back to the previous summer when the two waitressed together in the nearby city of Sharksville. Both girls had taken the job as a means of escaping home. For Lily, this meant only that she could smoke whenever she pleased and talk to boys without fear of her father making some joke about “late bloomers.” Madeleine, conversely, shared a place in Tramp with David, a painter, whom she loved. But in the month of June, David had taken to pursuing Madeleine relentlessly around the apartment with a hand-held tape recorder in order to inform his new project, “Truncated Sound, Taut Canvas.” He recorded her eating, talking on the phone, sleeping, and even taking a shit. Madeleine needed space. She told Lily she’d begun experiencing a palpable twinge in her flipper finger (on the left-hand side) whenever she heard a click or a whirr, no matter if the sound emitted from the tape recorder itself, the toaster, a helicopter, or, most markedly, a pinball machine. Her anxiety led her on several occasions to fire prematurely during game competitions. She needed the time away from David to recuperate her heightened nerves.

Madeleine became the best waitress Sharksville had seen in several summers–though perhaps this was due to her burgeoning sideshow status among certain wizened locals who’d never before witnessed such balance, such poise, and such ambidexterity in a city eatery. Lily relied on her breasts for tips. One late night she and Madeleine experimented with two-tone liquid rouge. In a state of drunkenness the women applied the rouge to Lily’s peachy pink nipples, darkening them noticeably so that their newfound hue seemed to wither the folds of Lily’s cotton uniform, rendering the fabric of her top irrelevant. After that, Lily layered her breasts in mauves and fuschias every afternoon before work; had David seen them, her nipples would likely have unhinged a new aesthetic obsession. While she spent the extra cash on tea and crockery, Lily primarily kept up her evening cosmetic application for the anonymity her breasts provided: busy gazing through, the Sharksville patrons generally disregarded her face. (Not so with Dr. Flock. He first noticed Lily that summer over the Sunday Sports section and resolved to teach her better ways to mask.)

Now, isn’t that nice when we’re quiet and we listen? That does it, nap time for everyone! Get upstairs…now! No, no, not you, Bones…you’ve got get back to work. Hey, wake up! I said wake up!


Add comment October 26, 2006

Thursday’s Song


Fort Saint Davids walks in like he owns the place.

(That’s because he does!)

Chaos ensues. Nothing is going right. Everyone is mad about something. Nothing is working out. Nothing is getting done.

“What the hell is going on here, people?” cries FSD. “Why isn’t anyone working?”

BONES: You think this is my main job? Please.

FLOSS: Man you run a blog. Meanwhile I run the motherfuckin’ CITY.

FATHER GIBBS: Eat a blog.

LEGEND OF STREET DOG: …

FSD’s DATE #1: I’m not over my ex.

FSD’s DATE #2: You’re not over your ex.

FSD’s DATE #3: I think we should just be friends.

MARTHA: I already sent you the stories! Why aren’t they up yet? What’s the big idea?

DR. ATM: Do the vulture!

RENEE: Look, FSD, you seem overworked. You need to chill the fuck out.

FSD: What do you suggest I do, Renee? I’ve got a—

RENEE: What you need to do is take a nice, long, relaxing drive. Drive somewhere nice. Drive somewhere far. But the main thing is to drive.

FSD: You’re probably right, Renee.

RENEE: I usually am.

And with that, FSD and Renee head out of the office, cross the street to the parking lot, get in the car, and head off into the brilliant autumn afternoon.

Here’s their song, a pitch-perfect pop crystal from the late 80’s by the long-forgotten Vulgar Boatmen. Hop in the car, click the link, and get the fuck out of Dodge.

Drive Somewhere


2 comments October 26, 2006

If You are in Saint-Etienne over Thanksgiving, go to This!

BD Dark Room

The Biennale Internationale de Design Saint-Etienne
This is the BD Dark Room exhibition, hosted at the Gallery Roger Taylor - Bâtiment I, Site Ceei, Cité Du Design, 5 Rue Javelin Pagnon, 42000 St-Etienne.

I’m sure they’ll be exhibiting a lot of their best work of the past year, however, no info is available on their website. Perhaps it’ll be a themed exhibition? The announcement for the opening is available, which is on  November 27, from 5-7. The exhibition will run from the 22nd of November to the 3rd of December.

You can visit the gallery’s website here:
La Cite du Design

I don’t really understand French, but the other expositions look great too. Ruedi Baur is in as well, and may or may be not discussing security in urban places. From what I can gather, they are calling Buro Destruct’s work “Intriguing and Schizophrenic”.


Add comment October 26, 2006

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